Hail the conquering zero! Clueless "war hero" Captain Wilton Parmenter takes command of Fort Courage.

In order to get the Hakawi to make more blankets O'Rourke agrees to let them borrow the fort's cannon for their Moon Festival. Agarn is against this but he eventually goes along with it. O'Rourke has all the bases covered for this deception including keeping Parmenter busy on a date with Wrangler Jane...but he doesn't count on a surprise visit by General Grant.

It's pay call at Fort Courage when a top secret letter from Washington arrives. F Troop has been chosen as a test troop for a new style of Indian fighting...infiltration through camouflage. Major Bentley-Royce of the Bengal Lancers will be instructing them. He is a master of disguise and a living legend known as 'The Phantom Major'. He also wants to prove the fort is obsolete. O'Rourke and Agarn will have to enlist the Hakawi in order to prove him wrong.

There's a $5,000 reward out for the capture of the Colton brothers and Parmenter decides to go after them. Meanwhile O'Rourke's horse and Agarn are both suffering from stomach pains. The prognosis is bad for the horse and Agarn overhears the doc and O'Rourke talking and thinks it's about him. Convinced he is dying Agarn writes a confessional letter to the Inspector General.

Renegade Indian Bald Eagle has been spotted by Fort Dodge and is believed to be heading towards Fort Courage. His reputation as wild and unpredictable precedes him and Parmenter prepares the Fort for an attack. He is crazy and attacks the fort singlehandedly. When the attack fails he is captured but he escapes and takes Parmenter with him. O'Rourke, Agarn and Jane head off in pursuit.

Jane is disgusted with the saloon and the riff-raff it attracts and insists that Parmenter close it down. Parmenter looks into it and decides she's right and embarks on a plan to clean up the town. Meanwhile gunfighter Sam Urp is in town and after several clumsy accidental meetings with Parmenter swears he will gun him down next time he sees him. O'Rourke and Agarn can't afford to lose Parmenter so they set out to save him.

An old girlfriend of Captain Parmenter's visits Fort Courage to encourage him to return back east.

Captain Parmenter goes to command school and returns a tough Army officer that no one likes.

Agarn joins the Hekawi tribe and turns out to be a better Indian than any other brave.

When Dobbs' mother comes to visit she is mistaken for a dance hall singer.

After saving Wild Eagle's life, Captain Parmenter is given a baby.

Ken Berry and James Hampton in F Troop (1965)

A conman comes to town taking the troopers money, which is O'Rourke's job.

A woman comes to town and takes over O'Rourke's saloon.

Captain Parmenter is determined to find the Hekawi's whiskey supply that O'Rourke has stashed at the fort.

The chief's daughter is kidnapped and F Troop swings into action.

O'Rourke manipulates Capt. Parmenter into suggesting an incoming railroad be routed through Fort Courage. That way, the bar that O'Rourke secretly owns will receive a windfall. To accomplish this, the U.S. Army must persuade the nearby Indians to move. They do so -- right into Fort Courage.

Agarn gets a dear john letter from his girl Betty Lou and O'Rourke devises a scheme to keep them together. He proposes sending her a letter telling her of Agarn's bravery and the fact that single handedly he killed Geronimo. What they don't plan on is Betty Lou's father printing the letter in the newspaper and Agarn becoming a national hero. Geronimo has also read the newspaper and is intent on seeking revenge against Agarn. While all this transpires Parmenter is determined to capture a bear which has been seen near the fort.

A natural jinx comes to F Troop and gets involved with a black widow who had four husbands.

While the men of F Troop are undergoing their annual physicals word comes that the Mexican bandit El Diablo is at large. It turns out that he and Corporal Agarn are cousins and look exactly alike. Agarn with the troop under his command set out to capture Diablo...but Diablo has taken Parmenter, Jane, O'Rourke and Dobbs prisoner.

Jane's cousin helps O'Rourke replace the F Troop pension fund by entering a poker game.

An Army major comes to Fort Courage who wants to wipe out the Hekawis.

The War Department's testing of a new bulletproof vest at Fort Courage is hampered by two competing spies.

To have the Captain move off post, O'Rourke plays cupid for him and Wrangler Jane.

group of visiting Gypsies crown Agarn their long lost prince.

O'Rourke has been in the Army for twenty-five years.

When F Troop finds out that none of them are legally enlisted, the troopers leave and only Captain Parmenter remains to fight off an Indian attack.

Fort Courage is to receive a citation from the Secretary of War for having the best morale in the army. Unfortunately this is right on the eve of a wave of arguments that sweep the fort.

After their cook is transferred, Agarn takes over so they can order excess supplies and sell them to the Indians.

Agarn's sanity is questioned when he keeps seeing an Indian in the fort and no one else does.

O'Rourke and Agarn get Wild Eagle's nephew entered into the Army sharp shooting contest.

When Captain Parmenter's mother arrives, she insists that he be transferred to a post back east.

O'Rourke gets a promotion to lieutenant and is being transferred which could doom O'Rourke Enterprises.

The Hekawis - the tribe that invented the peace pipe - are ordered to go on the warpath so they attack Fort Courage.

Captain Parmenter is temporarily replaced by the town drunk to impress his visiting daughter.

Shades of Nelson Eddy as a singing Mountie shows up looking for Agarn's French Canadian cousin.

Everyone in F Troop is transferred except for Agarn who must train the new troops that are worse than his comrades.

Fort Courage is visited by a Prussian balloonist.

Agarn and O'Rourke volunteer to guard the replacement payroll after the first one is stolen.

A trickster tries to get Agarn blamed for his robberies.

Four F Troopers take over a ghost town hoping to get rich when the railroad finally comes through.

A white woman raised by Indians starts to take after the Captain.

The two candidates for mayor of Passaic New Jersey, Agarn's hometown, come out West to get his vote since the election was tied and they need his absentee ballot to break the tie.

While Sgt. O'Rourke is off on a horse buying mission, his father, Morgan O'Rourke, arrives from Ireland at Fort Courage and unintentionally raises havoc at the fort and even the Hakawi camp.

A visiting Colonel judges a troop by its bugler and Fort Courage has the world's worse.

Wilton's sister has eyes for the company bugler.

An Italian father and daughter visit Fort Courage pursued by a spurned lover.

Kid Vicious, a dead ringer for Captain Parmenter, comes to town.

Natural jinx Wrongo Starr returns driving a load of dynamite.

Parmenter and Agarn go on a survival test where O'Rourke makes sure that they can find food.

Agarn and O'Rourke go after the man that swindled them out of their saloon.

Two renegade Indians captured Captain Parmenter, but are just looking for company.

East meets West in this episode when the men of Fort Courage offer sanctuary for a young Japanese woman who is fleeing an arranged marriage with a man she does not love. This is good for O'Rourke and Agarn who want the tribe to start manufacturing Kimonos, parasols, and fans but don't plan on a Samurai warrior who is determined to bring her back to Japan where she will fulfill her destiny and marry.

A ten year old boy shows up at Fort Courage and wants to join up.

A 147 year old Hekawi chief wants the land that Fort Courage sits on and lays siege to the fort.

The wild horse that the Captain wants to capture for Jane, O'Rourke wants to sell to the circus.

Count Sforza, an emigrant from Transylvania, arrives in town. He comes in a hearse, has pale skin and has a crow he calls "Brother." The men of F-Troop suspect he may be a vampire, given the count's tendency to say, "Good evening," regardless of the time of day. When Jane can't be found, O'Rourke, Agarn and the Captain decide to check out Sforza's spooky mansion.

Agarn leaves the Army to manage a rock band called the Bedbugs.

Agarn faces the firing squad after the prisoner in his care escapes and kills Sergeant O'Rourke.

Agarn's Russian cossack cousin falls for Wrangler Jane.

The Captain goes on a spy mission to find out who's selling guns to the Indians.

A marriage broker comes to town scaring both Corporal Agarn and Captain Parmenter.

A man comes to town, buys the land that Fort Courage is on and then plans to throw out F Troop.

Wilton is eligible for promotion to Major, but first he must pass a rigorous examination. His attempts at study are jeopardized by a bad cold and various home remedies.

Chief Wild Eagle is hiding at Fort Courage to visit the Army dentist; however a visiting general is impressed by this "soldier" and keeps promoting him.

An officer known for closing down forts comes to Fort Courage to get married.